Being a Witness

Don’t be afraid is a recurrent theme for me.  Isaiah knows that I need to hear that again.

Instead of copying a passage from chapter 44 in my notebook, I put together the parts that stood out to me in my meditative reading, a kind of found poem.

My servant, I have chosen

formed you and will help you.

I will pour out water, spirit, blessing

Do not fear, do not be afraid

You are witnesses.

Being a witness? I am being a witness to my life rather than all the fixing, managing, and what if-ing I tend to do.  To let things be.

I’ve been doing Daily Examine most evenings and it does make a difference to review my day in gratitude instead of lamenting what I did or didn’t do that day.  To be a witness to what is.  I’ve been here before. I am repurposing something that Cynthia Bourgeault wrote that seems inline with the kind of freedom that being a witness might bring.

…freedom that comes from being able to sit in the chaos of a disrupted habit – like an anthill that’s just been kicked in – and transform the pain into the razor’s edge of pure consciousness.

To do this, however, is an advanced spiritual skill.  It requires an ability to sit in the presence of powerful emotional currents—pain, grief, yearning, fear—and experience them as pure sensation rather than as part of the story we keep telling ourselves about who we are.

I am grateful for this blog where I am able to put things together.  So when I happened upon an old blog, I am grateful for a record of that witness.  In June 2018, I ended my blog with this intention that seems to fit today. 

Now to have the courage to take this lesson again and experience the surrender of letting be, with reverence, a respectful waiting, and a deep attentiveness to forces much greater than my own.

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