Time is a curious thing.
The last semester has ended; the dread, different pace, and the wonder of the holidays has passed and a new year begins. This is regularly a difficult time for me. I’m not sure I want to move on to the new yet but I’m done with the break in routine..
Anticipation of a new schedule, new courses, and new people in the coming weeks propel me back into what seems like “real” time. It is so easy to get caught up in thinking about all I have to do, things I suspended in my time off. What’s really crazy is that I think more about what I have to do or what is upcoming even before I have to start thinking about those things, which I’ve established as Monday- tomorrow. That kind of anticipation actually takes me out of the time that is now–from living in this moment.
This morning, and most mornings, I sit in the ever so still house, drinking hot tea and wrapped in a blanket. The other two beings who are here are sound asleep and I need them to stay there. Now is the time I have all to myself that I need so desperately each day. This time is beyond “real” time; call it great time or cosmic time or eternal time.
I am acutely aware that I am not alone. God is here with me, holding me just enough above or outside of this time that I see things differently. I gain perspective that propels me back into the real world and time and changes how I see it in this moment. I may get caught up again in doing, passing time or retreat into my inner self at times to hold it still again.